I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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