I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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