i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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