I'm jealous of your bromance
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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