You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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