Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
