We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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