1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
