I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
