I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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