you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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