He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
