Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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