She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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