R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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