I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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