Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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