I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
