So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
