I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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