Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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