I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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