Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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