Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize