my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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