hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
