Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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