Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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