Having a random hookup so left but love u
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
