Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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