Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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