Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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