I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
