Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
