Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
