i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
