I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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