so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
