Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
