Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
