so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize