38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
