I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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