I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
