oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
