I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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