It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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