I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
