I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
