spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
