I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize