shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
