It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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