i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
