I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
