Yo dont text me then not text me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
