I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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