How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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