we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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