OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
