My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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