just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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