It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can you bring me the toilet please
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
