btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
