My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
