There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
