so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
