When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
